The end of the year approaches so fast. In the shopping centres I can hear the faint sound of all too familiar Christmas carols. I can feel that subtle sense of urgency emitted from others around me as they plan their holidays and gift buying, and the summer cicadas are starting to sound in the late afternoons. The days are long and comprised of heat, haze and humidity. Past experiences dictate that this time of year should be filled with excitement and joyful anticipation. Yet tonight as I hear the dull ache of thunder in the distance I am reminded of the many decisions that I must make before the sands of 2014 run out.
Since I was a little girl I've had a recurring dream, and I had it again last night. I am standing on the shore, in the street, on a hill. Sometimes with others, sometimes alone and upon looking out to the horizon I am confronted with the image of an enormous tidal wave, black and approaching quickly. There is nowhere to run, there is no where to hide, only a short moment to speak my mind and speak my heart before the world is engulfed whole. They say that dreams such as these are supposed to symbolize a build up of pressure in one's life or the coming of a significant change. Really, I don't think that that's too far from the truth.
I've never been a very decisive person when it comes to opportunities that have the potential to change my life or carve out my future. I over-think things and it seems that my head and my heart are in a constant state of conflict. I envy those who can put their entire faith into a single choice with confidence. A palm reader once told me that my lifelines are broken but will someday merge. She said it meant that an immense change will come my way throughout the years and that whether I take it or not will determine who I become as a person. I am quite a skeptic but I cannot help but think: Is this, what I am confronted with now, that change? Who will I become?
Time will tell.
Title: "Breathe" - Pink Floyd